• Home within a home

    This club that we all love and support and cry and argue over means more than words can express. It’s a distraction, it’s an obsession, it’s an addiction, it’s a source of stress, it’s a source of pride, it’s a reflection of themselves, their beliefs and their city. For others it symbolizes a dream… a place they have yet to visit, a stadium they have yet to experience, in a country the dream of visiting. But I think it’s fair to say that for any and all that support Arsenal, this club is their HOME.

    Home implies family, it implies tension and disagreements and it most definitely implies that home is where the heart is, not a building, a city or socializing with a group of fans that were just literally lucky enough to be born and live in a certain geographic region. Arsenal is and will always be my home. Within that home, Arsenal women have become a home within a home in dimensions that are hard to explain but there is no need for me to do so because you get it.

    However, back when I first became an Arsenal supporter back around 1997, I was living in Venezuela, having just moved back from living a few years in Boston. So, to say the least, there was a bit of a crisis there and I didn’t really know where I belonged. Honestly, I still don’t know where I belong but no matter if its living in Caracas, Boston, Los Angeles or when I visit Amsterdam, Eindhoven or Zoetermeer, my home within a home is Arsenal and now my home within a home within a home is Arsenal Women.

    Not the community per se, and I’m absolutely ok with that. I thrive being an outcast and literally the point of my podcast and this blog is to be different and offer things that others don’t.

    The same way that I don’t really feel or try to be a part of the community of bands that I listen to, because to me it’s not just about that, but a deeper feeling directly with the players, specially with Arsenal Women.

    Make no mistake, the Arsenal community and the Arsenal Women community in specific is incredible, but what we consume via twitter and USA tours isn’t a proper representation, but what is it? That’s the point… there isn’t a true one because its a collection of millions of individual and collective thoughts and experiences and feelings.

    This is why it’s so silly and borderline childish when people tell others they aren’t true fans. Those people need to convince themselves that THEY are the true real fans not because they know it, but because they need to hear it and because nobody tells them that, which would be weird, they need to hear it themselves.

    Today is the most important election in Venezuela for the last 25 years. My home, where I found my home within my home. So if you have Venezuelan people in your life, check on them today.

    d ❤

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  • Yes, Lina!

    It took me a few moments to realize exactly where in the USA I am. This super short tour has been lots of fun and event though we haven’t visited many cities, I still wasn’t sure where I was because I just woke up. In addition one of my favorite things about being on tour just happened which is that I also forgot which day of the week it is and honestly I just realized in was Saturday because I looked at the top right corner of my screen.

    Anyway, I need to go back to sleep soon but wanted to drop a line because I saw Lina Hurtig’s words and just wanted to come on here to say that I am extremely proud of her not only for being so open, vulnerable and strong, but also because of the club have handled the situation well, from where I stand, and it’s pretty great to see how they have stuck by her.

    It’s easy for me to make comparisons to other players, Viv, etc and this is not the place or time to do it because I wouldn’t even know where to start in an intelligent way. And apprehension aside, I do think that Lina deserves the opportunity to pay back the club’s support. Not that she needs to or that she has anything to prove but I would bet any money that this is what she wants to do.

    So the situation and the conditions in theory are perfect for her and the club to benefit, and let’s be honest, without trying to discredit Foord, who didn’t have a good season, I cannot imagine how Lina would not be a better option or an equal one at that.

    More importantly, regardless of how it affects Arsenal in any way, I’m happy that it seems that whatever Lina was dealing with, might be over? It’s impossible to say because it’s impossible to know, but even if we knew, we cannot know exactly what is happening and we need to be as empathetic as humanly possible and the biggest win and trophy in her career could very well be getting over or facing, dealing with, etc whatever is going on in her life.

    Arsenal or not, it is really great to see a club support players, their mental health and who knows what other things, specially as it relates to women, their biology, their needs, motherhood and more. And even though mental health is part and parcel of basically every day life these days, it’s almost as if we can always talk about it more and it takes brave people like Lina to speak up.

    At the same time I hope she knows she owes us fans absolutely nothing and that includes an explanation or summary of what’s going on. She deserves to be her own person, with her privacy, with her secrets and with/without whatever she wants at all times.

    I for one am excited to her and her future at Arsenal or elsewhere but just to see her on the pitch soon.

    d ❤

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  • I will put you on blast

    Wow, do you ever get a message or a tweet that is lacking so much intelligence and facts that it makes you doubt in the future of society as a whole and feel that we are doomed forever? Well, yesterday someone came to me with a comment that was so misguided, ignorant and blatantly stupid that I had to do something about it.

    One of the things that we need to do as consumers of content is to assimilate and process what is shown to us, not just to react with how we feel. There’s nothing wrong with that and we also don’t control how we feel, but seeing a picture is different than reading a blog post or sharing an article, etc.

    Some people just feel something, they are then immediately on a mission to say what they feel while they’re being spoken to or while they’re reading which implies they are not truly listening or reading and they cannot properly comprehend the thing they are reading or listening to and it becomes this horrible mess and it can get really silly.

    People love assuming stuff and it’s almost like they have expectations of what people are supposed to write and if they don’t see it the way they want you to see it they feel a need to say it and I have a problem with that. Let me be clear, I don’t have a problem with people doing it per se, you can do whatever you want, what I have a problem with is people’s lack of self control. And I know how that is and I do it too and it sucks.

    Yesterday a reader here saw an article in which I mentioned Casey Stoney and she sent this comment:

    “ah yes famously offensive minded coach Casey Stoney to fix an xG vs goals scored problem”

    Thank you, Jane! First and foremost for reading and for feeling a need to comment, which I really appreciate. Not only is her comment appreciated but it’s valid and she has an incredible point. Although I never ever mentioned tactics or why I think Casey would be better than our current manager from a football perspective, this reader clearly knows what she’s talking about and has thought about the topic.

    This is a perfect example of someone that totally missed my point but they are smart and knowledgable enough to go in the weeds of a topic and we could have a very interesting conversation about Casey, about football and tactics and I am completely convinced that I can learn from someone like that.

    But this is not the stupid comment. OMG I wish everyone would be Jane.

    Yesterday I shared a ESPNW story about how this was going to be the first olympics in history to have an equal number of male and female athletes. Furthermore, if people opened the picture I shared they could’ve read the rest of the post in which they went on to say: “to put it in perspective, the first ever games held in modern history (Athens 1896) did not have any female athletes.”

    Some genius that I don’t follow, that I’ve never spoken to felt compelled to send me a DM to say: “So these are going to be the worst Olympics ever. got it 👍” I quoted it verbatim because it’s obvious this is not a smart person.

    This comment was stupid, ignorant and it really made no sense because you cannot make sense out of plainly unintelligent behavior like this. Naturally, I took a screenshot and shared it and I’m happy to say that I got no less than 30 DM’s of people laughing at this person.

    Is this below me? Yes. Is this super childish of me? Sure. Did I have to do it? Yes. Why? because I can only take so much of people saying things to me that have an agenda or have a willingness to hurt.

    This is among the reasons why I love AWFC and all the drama around it because we all care deeply about the squad and the club in our own way. Going back to Jane for example, even though I didn’t feel understood, that’s not the point! The point is that she cares so much about that club and feels her insight is better than mine so much so that she reached out. I LOVE THAT.

    We all want what’s best for this club, in our own way and none is right or wrong. I can sit here saying I want Jonas gone and for all I know he can win the damn quadruple. I don’t know that, nobody knows that, but again, we’re all genuinely caring about this damn club.

    But the olympics comment was meant to put down women, it was meant to shame them and that’s just not cool and certainly not the same. We cannot tolerate behavior like this and I will call people out and put them on blast because people have to learn that there are consequences to the things they say and how they say it.

    d ❤

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  • Women will save our club AND democracy

    Stick with me for a sec…

    You must be living under several rocks and in another galaxy to not know about Kamal Harris being, hopefully, the next president of The United States. Also, before we go on, in case you are new here or think sports and politics shouldn’t mix… kindly move on, thanks for coming though.

    The hope of the first female, black leader of the free world is something that I am very excited about and I feel energized, I feel hopeful and for the first time in a while, I actually feel confident that the elections here will go our way.

    But as invested as I am in USA politics, as a Venezuelan, my mind and heart are with my people there and the elections coming up in 3 days, an election which although doesn’t have a female candidate, a woman is truly THE movement, and her name is Maria Corina Machado. The story is way too long but SHE is the present and SHE is the future.

    To be a Venezuelan-American or American-Venezuelan person and to know that women can make the changes that are needed for the world to be a better place, let alone their respective countries, is something that fills me with so much pride and so much love and goddamn it, this is what we deserve.

    Now, on to Arsenal and AWFC… the title suggests that I think that the club needs saving as if we’re going through so horrible times when in fact, as a whole, the club is doing great and who knows? maybe by the time November comes around and legal proceedings come to an end, we might get a couple of EPL titles and more our way.

    Anyway, the reason I think women “will save the club” is because I am convinced that Arsenal Women would and will thrive with a female manager. You cannot convince me that Casey Stoney wouldn’t do a better job than our current manager.

    AWFC needs something new and I don’t mean clothing ranges from the club and again that black/green/red top is so ugly for me. Definitely not enjoyable to look at during the friendly that the guys played in LA.

    Selling Viv feels like it should’ve been a big shift and I would respect the club more if there was a clear change or strategy but there’s zero happening from where we stand and whatever ambition the board has and/or the current manager has, it’s just meh at the moment but I’m sure we will all be energized by a signing or two and then it’ll be back to being super confident, just like what happened recently in politics.

    I love democracy and I love AWFC.

    Trust women, believe women, vote women.

    d ❤

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  • Brighten it Up

    I will raise my hand and admit that for the past few months I haven’t been the most optimistic and positive blogger. This is what happens when things affect me and I have an outlet and if you ever meet me in person you will see that I am a passionate person. I also isn’t lost in me that social media is weird and its not a true reflection of who we are. Some people out there are hideous online and are the nicest people in reality and vice-versa. I’m positive my online persona can rub people the wrong way or people will disagree but the nature of Twitter basically is to give unwanted opinions, so you gotta understand that you’ll read just that, as you do here.

    As Arsenal Women fans we’re constantly winning. Love or have the manager, love or hate former players, etc I much rather deal with this drama that any other club’s drama any day and I absolutely love that we are all here extremely passionate about Women’s football. Like, please take a second and stop and think about how incredible it is that there are many so many cool podcasts and blogs out there, more and more each day that express thoughts, opinions and analysis when few years ago there was nothing.

    So even though the squad looks thin, even though we don’t know where LWM is and if she’s fit. Even though we have no news about Amanda’s return post pregnancy, even though we see Lia in the alps but we’re not sure if she can run, etc etc etc, my goodness is it joyous to know that in a few weeks we will be watching Beth, Katie, Leah, Steph, Kim and the rest of our girls get on that pitch vs City and teach them a lesson and make a statement.

    Our starting lineup could rival some of the top teams in Europe, I genuinely believe that and I know for a fact that our girls have the mentality and the attitude to not only win the WSL and both cups, but I’m really excited to see what they will do in Europe.

    You don’t need me to remind you of last year’s situation but I think that even the current manager, will have learned and will not underestimate the opposition. And for the record and in his “defense” I will say that I didn’t think it was his fault per se for us not having European football. It was due to the fixture congestion post World Cup, etc but trust me, I still think he isn’t the right person for the job.

    Like I always say, I’m always going to be optimistic and positive about a squad that has the players I previously named and the rest of our team. I’m excited to see Teyah Goldie become an absolute enforcer, and I’m also anticipating Caldentey to be a boss, becoming a nightmare for all defenders, from all teams, across England and Europe. I’m so excited and I’m very confident.

    Make no mistake, I have always felt confident in our girls. Always. I don’t care who they play, I will always feel confident. With or without players I love, I will always feel confident. Less confident when players I don’t rate as high are in the starting lineup, but because I never doubt their effort and professionalism, at the end of the day I don’t worry because as my dad says: without data, it’s just an opinion.

    Do I think we can beat City? Of course. Do I want Viv to do great and score lots of goals? Of course. Do I want city to beat us? No. Do I want the manager gone before the season starts? Of course I do. Do I want Viv to score and beat us? Of course not. I want her to score for her and big FU to the team that sold her and to the manager, etc. But I don’t actually want us to lose. But if you want that, that’s you and you have your reasons and I’m not here to tell you what to do. You shouldn’t care what anyone thinks.

    Beating City is massive. At home… it’s just poetic and I can’t bloody wait.

    d ❤

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  • There’s more to life than Arsenal

    One of the rites of passage as an Arsenal fan is watching the movie Fever Pitch or better yet, reading the book. For those of you that have seen/read I don’t have to tell you about it, but for those that haven’t, instead I’m just going to encourage you to watch it, and more over, to pay attention about it’s truly deep meaning.

    Now, it’s important for me to establish that I am not judging anyone whose life revolves around Arsenal. Why? Because that is me. Since circa 1996 I have been obsessed with this damn club and they are usually the last thing I think about before bed and the very first thing I think about when I wake up.

    But I see so many people be affected by how other people’s relationship with the club is or how other people’s fandom is and it’s such a strange collection of behaviors. Which all make me think that there’s something deep there that has to be faced and analyzed by having some hard conversations with themselves.

    It’s important for us to remember that not only does our opinion doesn’t matter and that it shouldn’t matter, but if we think it actually matters then the issue is not the opinion itself but that we are deluded enough to think it matters. That, is the sociopathic nature of someone like myself who says all this and also has a blog literally about opinions all day long.

    Also, is there really more to life than Arsenal?????? Like maybe not?!!

    My point is one thing is having an obsession with a team and another one is letting it dictate every single aspect of yourself in a way that it shapes your friendships and more importantly the relationship you have to yourself. Mostly because we as fans cannot control what a multi billion dollar entity does and one day it can turn on its head and stand literally for the very opposite that you value and then what? you’re screwed.

    For instance, if there is one thing I cannot stand is male aggression, and I’m not trying to quote Emma Hayes here, but what I see from our current manager is the behavior of someone I cannot support or relate to so there is definitely a massive gap between the club and I, not the squad and I, no the love I have for the club and I… the current decision to back him and how I feel about it… there’s the gap.

    Also people are really critiquing people that support Viv and would buy her Man City shirt. Like, if you agree with it or not… who the fuck cares? why do you care? what makes you think you hold the truth to true fandom? Why would anyone be like that? Why would anyone want to be around those people?

    I’m just so happy I have music and so many other interests in life. And also, fuck all that, AWFC I love you more than anything.

    Live however you wanna live, and if you wanna judge people judge them. I certainly judge people that judge others hahaha.

    d ❤

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  • Get it over with

    I mean… there’s very little that you can say to me to convince me that the football fixtures are completely computerized and random. Unless I’m missing something of course, which is very likely but it feels like Man City at home as the WSL opener is pretty much putting the “fix” in fixtures. Not accusing anyone of anything, just saying I saw this coming miles away.

    I am very happy this is the first match, for my mental and emotional health if nothing else. The anticipation of this fixture if it were in say November, would be way too much. The thought of having to wait weeks if not months to find out, since the club fucked around, would bring so much anxiety to my life that I just don’t need that selfishly speaking.

    What I am looking forward to is seeing how many goals Viv will score because she will. And this is a good thing because it will, in theory, pressure the club into buying a proper CB to help Leah deal with Viv, oh and Lauren Hemp and Chloe Kelly, etc. Beyond Viv the club needs to get their transfer strategy up a notch and buy two midfielders too. This is just madness.

    BUT, make no mistake: I’m confident we will win and I’m saying that partly because I believe it and also because I don’t want to get canceled and I want you to keep reading my posts 🙂

    Seriously though, I can see a universe where we beat them and another one when they beat us which honestly seems more likely based on squad depth at the moment, but we all know the narrative will be around Viv, and rightly so.

    We just don’t have the squad at the moment guys. We are missing too many players and there are som many unknowns it’s laughable. No word on Walti, no idea about LWM, Hurtig… and if Foord has the same season we are SOL. That’s “shit outta luck” in case you didn’t know.

    If we lose I am anticipating so many “I told you so” tweets, blogs and podcasts against our current manager and he will deserve every single one of them and I’ll be the first one calling for him to be sacked. As I have for months and will continue to do based on his constant negligence and lack on quality to lead a club of our stature and players like ours.

    It’s gonna be the perfect storm and there are few people to blame and they are not players, regardless of what they do/don’t during the match.

    d ❤

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  • No Arsenal USA tour for me

    My friends, I’m absolutely exhausted. I don’t like hot weather and I certainly dislike Texas weather and it’s horrific humidity, to put it mildly. Last night was the first show of this mini tour I’m doing here in Austin and even though the show was great, it was a rough one in terms of hydration, focus and just overall health. We pulled through and it was a great show at least for us in the band, but we have to see what the audience thought, but alas, we move.

    I hadn’t been asked this question until I literally had 4 messages from different people asking me if I was going to go see Arsenal in LA and more importantly Arsenal Women in DC and my answer was no. Not only because, as least for the arsenal men’s match in LA aka my home, I will not be in town for that, but I also doubt I’ll go to DC to watch the girls.

    Beyond it being a serious investment in money, with uber to the airport, plane ticket, hotels, ride to/from stadium, food, etc etc etc I have the “tradition” of going to see the girls in London so I rather spend a few hundred bucks more heading to the UK than staying in America.

    But the main reason I don’t think I’ll go is because there are no stakes whatsoever in these matches. There just aren’t and I much rather see a competitive match where things are consequential to a title race or a cup run.

    Also, I have seen them play Chelsea already and I don’t wanna see that fixture again because again, I much rather invest the money in a different set of players like Man City for instance which would allow me to see Viv again and Jill for the first time ever which would be very special.

    I don’t blame anyone wanting to go and I would encourage people that don’t have the chance to go to London to think about actually going to London. Listen, I know it sounds easy to say and trust when I say I don’t have money to spare and I’m not in a financial position to go whenever I want. Hell no. What I’m saying is that maybe delay the reward and postpone watching them live in the USA and save a little more money and head to London and see them at the emirates.

    It’s worth it.

    In addition the damn fixture congestion is so freaking bad and we sit here complaining about it and them we contribute to the problem and we go see them on these tours. Makes no sense to me and I find it hard to justify it.

    Not judging, that’s just my opinion.

    d ❤

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  • Just when you thought…

    That I wasn’t gonna talk about Viv and the oranje leeuwinnen, here I am. And there’s a very specific reason why you haven’t read anything about that from me and that reason is simply because I thought I had and I checked to see and realized that in fact, I hadn’t mentioned anything about the last qualifying matchday and more.

    As you know, I write on this blog every single day and there are times when my head is an absolute clown show and I simply forget what I’m doing mostly because of all the music that I need to learn, the songs I need to refresh/practice, or like today when I’m a hotel room and can’t practice, a lot of my memory and mental real estate is occupied with visualization exercises, and lots of rest. All this to say, again, that I’m sorry if you had been expecting something about The Netherlands and I haven’t written about it at all.

    BTW if you are new here please know that whenever the dutch play, usually, this blog morphs to/from an Arsenal Women to an Oranje Leeuwinnen blog.

    Now, even though the results haven’t been stellar I personally think the team looks much more balanced, for the most part. The midfield looks much more fluid the past few matches but I still have an issue with DvD being played so deep. She’s a 10 and she has her best matches when she plays there, and at the same time I get that we need her engine deeper on the pitch but anyway, that’s worthy of 17 blog posts.

    I love Sherida’s leadership and drive but I honestly would like to see someone else play alongside Dom and it’s about time we start bringing people through little by little because Dom is also not gonna play forever, even though I think she can and she’s good enough to play obviously the Euros but the next World Cup as well.

    Wieke Kaptein has been really good, really, really good and I know lots of you don’t wanna hear this, but we just look way better with her than we ever have with Pelova and I’m really excited for Vic and her recovery because she can have this situation as further motivation and I have no doubt in my mind that when she comes back, she’ll be a better, stronger and smarter player, so I’m really curious to see what the future holds because that competition is needed.

    But let’s take a second to talk about Viv and her goal. Beyond it securing qualification and beyond what it means for the whole squad and it’s objective of going to Switzerland, that goal meant a lot to the team because they knew it meant a lot to Viv and it’s this beautiful symbiotic thing.

    She needed that, the oranje needed that, The Netherlands needed that, Women’s football needed that and selfishly, I NEEDED THAT.

    Among the reasons I needed that is because I need the current manager and the club to be proven wrong. To be shown that gifting Viv to Man City was the biggest mistake we’ve ever made and I need everyone involved in that decision to regret it, to the fullest and largest extent possible.

    Before I go, here’s a cool interview with Jill Roord

    d ❤

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  • Well done Villa

    Early today I read the news, as I’m sure you did, that Aston Villa women will be playing 11 matches at Villa Park and that is massive news not just for the players and the club, but for the WSL as a whole and since it’s beneficial for the league it is absolutely beneficial for Arsenal as well, because like I said in a post recently, we need every single team to thrive for us to fully thrive and by the same token, if any team is struggling then we are all struggling.

    We can only hope that this is truly where the game is going and that other teams, the ones that can, will follow suit. And I personally want to emphasize “the ones that can” because I know it is not as simple as just telling clubs to have the women play in the main stadium.

    I have never hidden the fact that I’m not an expert and by and large I try to not talk about things I don’t know about. Sometimes we see people on YouTube and podcasts talk about things in a way or framed as if they are experts and I never wanna be that guy, so precisely because I don’t know much about finances and logistics, I think it would be naive by saying that “all teams should play” at the main stadia because simply put its just not possible and it might not be the best thing. I don’t really know.

    Let me paint a picture as a musician since I’m literally going on tour an hour after I finish writing this. I’m headed on a ten day run playing drums with Orianthi, an incredible Australian singer and monster guitar player, and you might’ve seen her playing guitar with Michael Jackson.

    The venues we play are basically rock clubs which are very, very well attended. She has a loyal fan base that even travel overseas to see her and regardless of the love and support, if she were to book a 5k venue in middle America, I don’t think she would sell them out. So, cost wise and/or optics wise playing in a larger venue, with less people, which might be more expensive for the artist from a production standpoint, might not be the best thing.

    Another potential parallel is the concept of “1000 loyal fans” which can, in some cases, allow a musician to have a good life if not a great life depending on where you live and of course many other things. But basically that concept implies that it’s better to have 1000 fans that buy everything you put out and come to shows and invest in your art via merch sales, etc than 20k that aren’t engaged at all. So if you put out $100 worth of music/shirts/merch and every single person of that 1k purchase it, that’s $100k.

    What’s better? A sellout small venue or a big venue that is empty but has the same amount of people or maybe a bit more? I don’t really know but the fact that we’re having this conversation is a very good sign.

    If you are in the USA please check out my social media for the shows I mentioned, in case you can attend a show and watch how incredible Orianthi is.

    d ❤

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