A very subjective look into AWFC

by Demian Arriaga

PODCAST

  • I got you

    I’ve been up since 4am sorting out a quick trip and I’m only now getting a moment to unwind and jot down some thoughts but before I being I gotta tell you how amazing it always is to run into friends at airports.

    My parents and I were minding our own business at the airport here in LA and I see a close friend and the best front of house engineer I’ve ever worked with and pretty much the best in the world. We’ve done tons shows with Miley together, we had out plane get hit by lighting, and we’ve also done countless shows with The Jonas Brothers. Basically if you’ve ever seen Miley or The JoBros doing a live TV performance you’ve heard his work and he’s also engineered/mixed/produced bands like Van Halen, Devo, St. Vincent and many more and if you heard Miley’s Attention Live concert, he mixed that and yours truly is on percussion.

    I didn’t know how or when my parents would ever meet him, someone that means a lot to me, but the universe conspired and I was able to introduce them to him and it was lovely to hear them chat for a second and share some Boston love.

    Let’s chat us now, my friends.

    The off season is predictably a very slow time not just for the fans but also for us “content creators” because events and matches usually are prompts for whatever that content will contain. This off season will be my second one as a blogger and it promises to be some sort of a return to basics for me and to essence of this blog and why I started it in the first place, which means anecdotes, opinions, of course lots of music parallels, things in the artistic vein and much more. And by much more you can bet this means disapproval of that manager which even if we win the quadruple next season, I will still express.

    All this to say that I will be here for you during the slow time as I attempt to be a source of distraction for you while things are boring and nothing seems to be happening but make no mistake, I need YOU because you are the reason I do this every singe day.

    I will never assume or even imply that I’m better than anyone out there but I am me and I am different and I love you all too much to leave you with only a couple of podcasts and a blog by the same person that leaks info and pretends it doesn’t matter because he has minions that repeat his words and don’t formulate their own. That is not me and I owe you variety, at the very least FFS.

    It’s somewhat simple and basic to just talk about transfer rumors and potential lineups. To this last point its a total waste of time for me if I try to predict what that manager is trying to do because nothing makes sense and I love myself too much to try to embody anything related to him so that’s a hard pass.

    As I mentioned briefly yesterday Leah signing is such an interesting thing and it gives us food for thought, assumptions and speculations. Why would she sign if this is the club that treated Viv poorly? some would debate. This and other questions like these are valid and very interesting and all I would say is that similar things happen in the music world and what it boils down to is very much an individual thing and of course an individual’s things. Each person is different, treated differently for better or worse, with peculiar dynamics and such, so comparing players and their contracts and all that is tricky.

    If you’re hopeful or frustrated or anything in between, you are correct to feel that way and it’s all valid, and I will add one of the things my mom has stilled in me since I was a child: you cannot expect rational behavior from irrational people. Football clubs to me are very irrational and we, in order to remain as sane as possible, cannot expect anything rational coming from it.

    Viv on a free is the definition of irrational and I will never get over it.

    d ❤


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  • 6

    Leah extends her Arsenal Women journey and I wasn’t positive she was going to sign. Having seen what the situation was with Viv, from what we can tell or what I can assume, it was clear to me that if a player was hesitant to extend I would totally understand it.

    All the videos were very cool and you can tell she is very, very happy and I have to tell you that I feel very happy for us fans and for the club, more than anything because the more time she spends there, eventually as a captain, she will be there as a safeguard and call out the manager when needed, and maybe as an English woman and “one of our own” she will have more weight and won’t be moved on like other players have.

    This born leader is closer and closer in a position to make even more fundamental impacts in the club and I’m here for it. I have a feeling there’s some changes coming and she will be at the epicenter of it.

    Leah is a star and miles ahead any other defender we have so that will only make them better and for sure we will be able to attract certain profile of names that might hesitate since Viv left.

    A lot of what I think about Leah can be heard here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1832323/14363641

    Sadly I have to run, literally… going for a run and I’m not too excited about it.

    Chat soon.

    d ❤


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  • Parental Advisory

    Whenever my parents are in town, one of my favorite things to do with them is going to buy books together. This is something that I cherish and value so much because we can spend hours chatting and walking around the store and one book leads to another and we chat about random things and next thing you know 3 hours have flown by.

    My parents have been supportive of every single thing I have ever done, tried to do, wanted to do, had interest in, you name it. They support me and also call me out when I don’t do things in a way which they approve and its always done in a very constructive way.

    Their encouragement with any and all things women’s football means a lot to me because they know this is a hobby and just something I like, just like I can like anything else, but they are moved by it, they now try to watch the sport as much as they can and they send me news or videos or things related to women’s football. Yesterday, I bought my mom a copy of Suzy Wrack’s book “A Woman’s Game” which is an absolute must read for any and all.

    Watching the CL final with my mom and dad was something really special and while Viv was on TV chatting we talked about her whole thing… watching DvD, my favorite player ever, with them was truly special too and I’m really bummed the match didn’t go Lyon’s way.

    If you are lucky enough to have parents that support your passion for the women’s sport, if you are privileged enough to watch matches with them, to share stories about the players… if they are interested in your love for it, then cherish that and value that and please let them know who much it means to you.

    There’s no shortage of things I can talk about with my parents but there’s something truly meaningfully deep when we talk about Arsenal Women. It moves me to my core and it’s just a testament to things that matter so very much to me.

    That’s why I get passionate and vocal about things that rattle the things I love. Be it Viv, past players, current players or the things that manager says and does, and doesn’t do.

    You can buy Suzy’s book HERE

    d ❤


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  • DvD Starts… who’s cutting onions?

    I woke up, did my morning routine, grabbed my laptop and turned DAZN on to watch the CL final preview. Through all of this I had all the intentions in the world to write about anything except Viv just to give us all a brief break and what do I see on the TV? Vivianne Miedema.

    My smile was from ear to ear and immediately was turned into a frown when she was asked about her future. Meaning that her future is NOT with Arsenal and this is just something that is so absolutely absurd and irresponsible that it will never not cause cognitive dissonance for me.

    She said that the CL is the only thing missing and that she will not make a step down and of course I’m happy for her but at the same time it means that there is a step UP as in, we are just not the top and that has been a reality for many years and will continue being that reality if the club continue to stand by a manager that does things the way he does and treat the players the way treats them.

    Onto the CL final match and it being Arsenal Women adjacent… Lianne is there, Jill is there and of course Van de Donk not only is there but she is starting. After all she’s been through, to see her shine and succeed and continue being the stellar player she is, makes me so very happy and I honestly cannot put into words what that means to me. The symbolism of someone leaving a comfortable environment, dealing with career threatening injury, a new country, a new language etc etc and you still come out on top. That’s some next level bad ass shit.

    Viv can learn from that and she will win the CL with City or whoever she signs with before 2027.

    d ❤


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  • The twists and turns of life

    Something happened to me last night that was so cool, so profound and so unexpected that I just have share with you all and I promise, at some point, it’ll turn back around and be related to Arsenal women and of course Viv.

    I had a gig with the Derek Frank group, a funk/jazz/fusion instrumental project about an hour south of Los Angeles. As musicians often do, we’re backstage chatting about random things and I got to chat with a trumpet player who was sitting in for the gig. Dan, said trumpet player, asks the rest of the band where they’re from and eventually I mention that I am from Caracas, Venezuela. He smiles and says: I’ve been there! but back in 1995!”

    Amazed and happy, I asked how come? and he said he went there touring with Phil Collins. I was in shock… not only was I at that concert when I was 13, but this was the first BIG concert I ever attended and it shaped me. I remember that insane drum intro and the way I felt on the very last song, called “Take Me Home”

    After chatting, I walked downstairs to grab a tuning wrench for my congas and as took each step I could feel my head shaking in disbelief, as I said out loud in Spanish: “las vueltas que da la vida” … Life and it’s twists and turns…

    We are on on this incredible journey called life and we never know what’s around the corner, we never know the positive impact we can have on people, the negative one as well and we certainly cannot predict the future as accurately as we would like.

    I am flawed though, I and I believe I can predict that Arsenal will live to regret and pay for what/how they’ve fumbled the Vivianne Miedema situation and I wouldn’t be surprised if we hear about other players that have left the club recently either speaking up directly or leaking information.

    Another one of those twists and turns is the lovely career that Danielle Van de Dons has created for herself post Arsenal. She’s the smartest footballer I’ve ever seen and maybe she knew something and leaving Arsenal, a potentially toxic place, was the best decision for her. She has thrived and she has a chance of winning her SECOND Champions League medal. HOLY DVD.

    Very excited about tomorrow’s match and to be terribly wrong about which of those players will sign for us this summer, Caldentey aside, if at all.

    Cannot bloody wait to see the best squad in world football oh and Barcelona too.

    d ❤


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  • Keep them healthy

    It’s very hard to just turn the page and pretend things are rosy and perfect and I won’t do that BUT my mental health needs a short break from going two footed at that manager until the collective voices are heard and not just the few that remain quiet, but that’s neither here nor there.

    The Australian tour, as well as the USA tour, are a set of games that set my anxiety through the roof, and even though I completely understand the symbolism of it all, the overarching thoughts, at least for me, is with the health of the players. This is an opportunity for that manager to give minutes, tons if possible, to players that aren’t named Little, Catley, McCabe and Pelova, among a couple of others.

    Those things aside, post World Cup, this must be such an incredible homecoming for Steph, Caitlin and KCC. I’m very happy for them as this is one of those things that can mean so very much and potentially fundamentally change a person in many ways and I’m here for it. And to Caitlin, I truly hope you get a breather after this, because old boy has been playing you to the ground.

    Specially chuffed for KCC because she deserved more minutes during the season and every minute she gets it’s an opportunity to grow and it’s very clear that, even though she doesn’t play with it, that she is very young and everything is smiles and stuffed koalas but the sooner she becomes a killer and an assassin the better.

    I’m also happy for so many Australian fans that live so damn far away and moreover, the time difference makes it so very challenging for them to watch matches, they absolutely deserve it.

    You would have to assume that that manager will use this opportunity to also try some things tactically, and specially sort out some set piece situations that clearly were not addressed during the season and boy I’m so glad he waited til the end of the season to make a change, what a responsible manager!!!

    Ok that didn’t that lost.

    Now, if we focus on the players and they are happy and healthy I’m all for it. Judging by the social media posts I have to say they all seem so very happy and there’s a very “informal” vibe which I love and of course there are no stakes at all. It’s an exhibition and this has to feel good after a very long, stressful season.

    d ❤


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  • Contrast

    Today is one of my favorite days ever, if not my current favorite day because I got to wake up, walk to my living room and hear the most beautiful of sounds: my parents talking. I might hear them on the phone every day and we FaceTime often, but there’s nothing quite like having them her with me in person.

    One of the many things I admire about both of my parents is that they value self awareness and accountability to a very high degree. Seeing them through years exercise those things and the respect of those things, is one of the most important lessons I learned growing up and still to this day. That doesn’t mean I think I have an uber developed sense of either, but I sure as hell work on both as much as I can.

    You know who doesn’t seem to do so? Well, you guessed it… that manager. He is quite clearly living on a different planet and wants to make sure everyone knows that he isn’t with the way he says certain things and specially by the way he isn’t saying others.

    He talks about “we” when there has to also be an “I” and this is such a big issue that I have with this person. He has made so many gullible people actually believe that he takes accountability when it is the people wanting him to be accountable that think he has been accountable but he hasn’t. Hahaha. It’s fucking insane and its a gaslighting relationship that some fans that follow him blindly just aren’t aware of and it’s alarming from the judgmental position where I stand.

    Same fans, when he’s gone, are going to scramble and justify what they say and said basically to, and you guessed it, NOT BE ACCOUNTABLE. It’s a cycle and they’re deep in it and I’m sorry if I sound arrogant but I’m so happy I’m not one of those people and I know you aren’t either, so we’re all cool and humble and good looking.

    The squad in Australia, as much as I love them, feels so different and weird without Viv, Beth, Leah and Manu. It feels like a different team, even with Katie, Steph and Kim. Do you feel the same way?

    d ❤


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  • All over the place

    That’s an accurate description of what my day is like today figuratively, literally and in any other way it could be, so I apologize for the late post but here I am… The reason why I’m all over the place is a very special one and it’s because in 5 hours I get to see my mom and dad for the first time in 6 months and I cannot contain my happiness.

    Believe it or not I haven’t had too much mental or emotional real state to focus on AWFC but Stina getting a new contract is pretty good news and even though she’s not a new signing, she’s an important one and I suspect and expect to see those new signings start at the GK position and I think I might’ve said just that yesterday and I apologize for being redundant.

    I did want to share something I read that made me really think deeply and of course it reawakened many emotions as it relates to Viv and that manager and I’m so not over ever getting over it but I wanted to share it with you:

    “Truth does not mind being questioned. A lie does not like being challenged.”

    And speaking of something that is NOT all over the place, is the vocal disapproval of that manager on his very own instagram account. It is very clear many people dislike him and will not forgive him for Viv, and many others. And he is not followed by any of the players as far as I know.

    Sometimes in life small things are silly and silly things are small and others times silly things are massive and small things are huge.

    The club have misjudged the Vivi situation and its a matter of time until we see what the real ramifications of said decision is, but I can assure you better results without Viv don’t mean a better situation for the players. She gives us all sustenance.

    d ❤


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  • NEver Make Your Move Too Soon

    Over the weekend I had the honor and privilege of playing drums with guitar virtuoso Orianthi, who for those who don’t know, is from Australia and she used to play with Michael Jackson, so if you ever saw the This Is It documentary, you would remember her absolutely shredding the guitar.

    One of the special things about the night was that we had a special guest sit in, another badass guitar player by the name of Joe Bonamassa, and he played a couple of songs. The second one being a BB King cover by the name of Never Make Your Move Too Soon.

    There we were, playing at the world famous Whisky A Go Go on the Sunset strip in Hollywood, one of the meccas of rock/metal music where all my idols have played and I’m literally playing on the stage where Guns N Roses and countless others have and for a split second, when hearing the song title being sang, I thought about so many things related to Arsenal and Miedema and vice versa.

    But at least for today, I’ll spare you my continuous and never-ending vendetta haha.

    I was thinking about who the club would need to buy that could even come close to Viv and the only correct answer is to first of all know that there is nobody on earth that could come close, so you buy other players, in other areas that we definitely need.

    Oh, but since we’re getting ZERO FUCKING MONEY because we’re literally giving her away to a rival for FREE, it’s not like we’re gonna use that money to invest but we clearly need GKs, another midfields and one or two left wingers.

    It’s a lot.

    It is clear that he loves Foord, over Lacasse, who might be off if the leaked information is accurate, and same super professional and serious leaker of said information also mentioned Caldentey is coming to Arsenal.

    So whatever happens it needs to happen soon.

    But Arsenal are coming to the USA.

    Imagine the marketing, the merch, the love Viv would’ve gotten, and all the new fans we would’ve recruited.

    But it’s ok… we don’t need new fans with all those super loyal ones that stayed quiet when Jonas literally put his hands on Viv.

    wink fucking wink.

    Told you I had a vendetta.

    But seriously, it will be a good experience for the girls and for the club but again… MORE MATCHES… ffs.

    d ❤


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  • Still fills yucky

    No matter how hard I try, at the moment, I just cannot get over not just Viv leaving but how it all went down and I actually don’t ever think I will get over because again, it’s not just about what happened but everything surrounding it. It makes me sad and it pisses me off.

    I was so emotional watching the match and when she scored I totally lost my shit. My hands went to my face and I cried. It was just too much and as I was thinking about what this all means to her and her teammates it just fucked me up.

    One thing is for sure and that is that I will never forget this nor will I forgive the manager.

    Viv is the present and the future, not just a part of our history. She still has it and as the saying goes: there is no worse blind man than the one who doesn’t want to see.

    This truly sucks and I can’t believe the pain were inflicting on this woman and the players. Its really not fair.

    In a few minutes on the pitch, Viv showed more ability, vision, class, poise, than basically any other player and the fact that she is being let go for free is so stupid. Like I know you know she’s leaving and all that, but it does not make it less stupid and part of me wants to yell and scream all call everyone that is ok with this a bloody idiot and I promise you I will never take their football opinion seriously, ever.

    The same people thinking we’ll be ok with Viv leaving are the ones that thought we would be ok w DvD leaving and look at where we are at now…

    A manager that doesn’t know his best XI all season… a manager that is trying to sell us that the future is the Pelova/KCC axis when the standard is Walti/Little… a manager that talks at conferences about squad rotation yet plays Caitlin Foord every single match as she barely contributes…

    But beyond anything on the pitch, it is clear to me that this person has a big, big, big problem with women that speak their mind.

    With or without Viv we all need to realize that this person is not the right one for the actual success of the club. There is clearly something wrong and a lot of people can tell and I find it hilarious how people talk about parasocial relationships with the players while they have a very questionable subservient attitude towards a manager, who quite clearly has lost the dressing room months ago.

    It is harder to finish 3rd in this league, with the squad we have, than winning it. We should’ve ran away with the WSL title. And let’s please not blame injuries because every single team has them and our players are not more important to us than other players are to their own fans.

    We were beaten by our own manager and his stubborn decisions. Make no mistake about that.

    That’s how I feel at the moment and since he’s lost me as a fan of his a long, long time ago, I know a lot of my feelings are biased and I’m totally cool with that.

    AWFC do not have a divine right to win, to excel, etc and as fans we don’t have to just love the manager and actually speaking up when the standards are low is a must for fans, that’s among our duties, not just take in whatever the club wants to feed us as good enough because the manager, the results and the business part is NOT cool.

    I do love and will always love these players and like I’ve always said: I care about them as people and want them to be happy.

    d ❤


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