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mañana…
I’m really struggling to find the right way to frame what I am feeling. It’s hard enough to understand extremely complex emotions but add to that trying to encapsulate them while also simplifying those complex feelings so that I make an “interesting” post.
Before I continue… for those who don’t know: Arsenal Women will be playing in front of a SOLD OUT crowd at The Emirates Stadium. This has never happened and it’s breaking all sorts of records.
But…
Tomorrow is not about tomorrow itself, is it? I’m not trying to be witty or sound smart. What I’m trying to say is that the Emirates selling out tomorrow is not (only) about the specific players on the pitch against a specific opposition. It’s more than it being a CL semi and all other components. It’s so much more than that.
Not to interject myself, but just to add color to this point: I could’ve flown to this match and was planning on it but I chose not to because of work but more than anything because making this investment and flying there and NOT watch Beth, Viv, Kim and Leah just didn’t make as much sense to me. Plus, my big dream is to watch the at Borehamwood on a cold and rainy Sunday. I won’t regret not going because this is going to happen again and again and again.
The match will be so symbolic of both the whole past and the future of the club, the sport and these women’s lives. But as a professional I would assume It’s a moment in time. Only a moment in time. Not because it’s not important, but the total opposite. I feel that this is not going to be a one off per season type of situation. This is going to be a feature, just like many people have predicted in the past.
Just like Barcelona vs Madrid at Camp Nou, this will be a historic day. A before and after.
I’m proud that its us that can claim this. We more than doubled what the previous record was… which was less than 10 days ago. Absolute scenes.
Now, as far as the match tomorrow itself, the lineup, the strategy and prediction… I’ll keep it short:
I would do what I wanted to do the previous match and Jonas didn’t do which is probably why we didn’t lose but it would be 4-4-2 with Manu on goal, a backline of Noelle, Rafa, Jen and Laura. Steph, Lia, Frida and Kuhl. McCabe and Stina up front.
Strategy is bloody win you queens.
I’m predicting a 2-2 and we win on penalties.
d ❤
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SOLD OUT EMIRATES!!
That’s it.
Holy shit that’s it.
That’s what I got for you today.
It’s very unlike me to be speechless but honestly…
This is massive, this is historic, this is WHAT EVERY SINGLE WOMAN WHO HAS PLAYED FOR ARSENAL DESERVES TO SEE AND KNOW AND FEEL AND WITNESS.
This is a victory for women’s football.
It fills me with so much joy.
Enjoy every second.
It’s real.
wow.
d ❤
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Arteta should seek advice from Jonas
Since the moment I started watching women’s football there was something I noticed and I know it’s not anything that you don’t know: women’s coaches, when pictured or featured alongside the men’s squad, always look like or are made to look like 2nd class citizens. It’s always the men’s coach who, like the oldest sibling, so kindly gives up their time for the younger one, so to speak.
Arsenal do this, and every club does this. Maybe not Lyon? But anyway, in pictures and videos it’s always framed or captured that the women’s coach is asking for advice or it always seems to me like its the men’s squad or their staff almost doing the women’s staff a favor. I’m not saying this is what it is, but that’s the vibe I get.
And I don’t like that.
I could give you many examples but let’s just look at where we are right this moment.
On one side you have Arsenal men who are in 1st place, 2 points ahead of Man City, but they have 2 games in hand. No FA Cup title this year, no League Cup and certainly no Europa League trophy either. For all intents and purposes, their season fell apart when ONE player got injured. ONE, a single player from the starting lineup.
Arsenal women are 6 points from leading the WSL yes, but are days away from playing at a basically SOLD OUT Emirates Stadium for the return leg of the Champions League. They’ve won a Conti cup already this season too. So, although its impossible to compare, there has to be a moment where we put things in perspective and realize the women have accomplished this, whatever you think about it, with at least 4 superstars missing. And I’m being generous because I can add plenty more.
So, all this to say that if Arteta isn’t asking Jonas about mentality, about half time talks, about keeping the squad confined and together through adversity, then he’s missing a big chance to learn and to create cohesion between the squads and around the club and culture of Arsenal.
Do you think he’s doing it?
I’d like to this he is but I highly doubt it.
d ❤
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it’s ok to not love every player
There’s this weird notion that you absolutely HAVE to and MUST love every player on your team in order to be “a true fan.”
To me, this is a wild position to have and as much as I try to understand where people that think that way are coming from, I just can’t comprehend it.You can still love and support the team more than ever, and also not vibe with one, two, three or X amount of players.
For several reasons this might be the season where I’ve been the most impressed by the team and it might also be the season where I have felt the most disconnect with the squad. To put it in other words: this is the squad who has the most amount of players that I don’t necessarily think are good enough for our club, but that means absolutely nothing. Not only does it mean nothing because my opinion is irrelevant and based on nothing but also because at the current moment in time, I would not want any other player in their place.
This squad is what it is and I mean that in an incredibly positive way. Every single player has been paramount to where we are and we are in a great place. In a way, every player is like a decision. We are where we are because of every decision we have made, and some are great decisions and some are not to the greatest but all of them make us who we are. I would like to think that I honor that, but I have to admit that I don’t always do that. I don’t do it privately and that’s fine but I can do a better job publicly.
Expressing my opinion is different than having one. I have strong opinions on several players but I don’t need to tell you about it because it’s not important or constructive at all, but that depends on who I express myself. Moreover there is always context behind the opinions that can’t be summarized properly in a single tweet.
My point is that it’s OK to not love every player. You don’t have to love them to support them. I think it’s actually a sign of a “true fan” or whatever that means, to not settle and strive for the best options out there, biased or not, and express those feelings in the most kind way possible.
And that last sentence is mostly for myself. I can be nicer and kinder.
d ❤
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the universal language that is women’s football
You don’t have to be a musician to have heard this phrase more than a million times: “Music is the universal language.” Right?? This is something you and I have heard so, so, so often. Because of that frequency, we’ve been led to believe that it’s one of those “absolute” truths that we all just agree with and assume it’s logic as ours without truly thinking about it.
As a professional musician and music educator I’ve always been careful when I mention that phrase and I make it a point, as I will do here, to explain it in the way I see/hear it in my head/heart/soul as a performer, artist and hired band member. And, you guessed it, it’s very similar to women’s football and my love for Arsenal. Hear me out and stick with me…
Most people think of music as the universal language because you could find yourself in a jam session, a gig, a bar, a party, on the street or basically anywhere and NOT speak the same language as the other people and you can still communicate, and it can be done rather effectively. This can be due to a whole set of reasons. There’s the music knowledge component where people can all be from different parts of the world and only speak in their native tongues but they all know “Space Oddity” and it’s gonna sound just as good as every member being from the same place and speak the same language.
There’s also a scenario where people are playing instrumental music or jamming, just sitting in (which means basically being asked to jump in on the stop without prior rehearsal), and they have to let their music knowledge, wether based in theory or feel, carry them through the situation. So for instance, a bar band in Tokyo is jamming on A minor blues, and you walk in, and don’t speak a lick on Japanese, you’ve never played or heard that song, but it’s just a blues jam and you know what to play on guitar. It’s gonna sound great. More examples could be made but I’m sure you get the idea at first glance.
If music is a language then it’s main purpose is communication. When most people think of communication they think about talking, speaking and saying what they want to say because they need something or they need to be heard.
The true key to communication, to music, to music as communication and to communicate via music is listening. And moreover, to get even deeper you need to LISTEN to understand the speaker, not just hear them with the purpose of replying. The goal is to truly have the intention and make the effort to understand them. Connection is the natural outcome.
You gotta listen to what kind of groove they’re playing, what key they’re in, which tempo the song is at, what the other instruments are doing to actually assimilate the information and then figure out how you can best serve the music and musicians. This of course is fluid and many variables exist but if we just listen intently, we’ll start seeing the bigger picture, and much more importantly, we will take OURSELVES out of the equation and make it about the other musicians and about a entity that is both something separate from us and something inside us all at the same time. It’s musical empathy.
This is where I feel there’s an intersection with women’s football: EMPATHY. I have learned to listen, to pay attention and to open my heart and soul through empathy.
I recently spoke about this as it relates to injuries and how trying to put ourselves in the player’s shoes should come more naturally to us than only thinking about how it affects our club and OUR feelings and lives, because that really doesn’t matter as much.
We can and should extend this to many areas within the women’s game: transfers, retirement, mental health, their personal relationships, motherhood, marriage, branding, divorce, finances and many more.
We need to listen to the players in many ways. But what if they don’t do interviews? what if they don’t address X topic if they do do interviews? Well at the very least we need to try to put ourselves in their shoes for more than the amount of time that it takes you to tweet about the topic.
Try to feel what they would feel.
Try to understand them.
Try to understand what series of circumstances would lead them to choose to leave Arsenal.
Try to understand how they would feel if they didn’t make that choice but it was made for them.
Try to understand when their bodies are telling them to stop playing and why.
Try to understand how things not being in their control could affect their performance on the pitch.
Try to understand how they would feel reading tweets about their relationships, which aren’t anyone’s business, especially not yours.
Try to understand why a player chooses to have a child and how much that means to them and their partner.
Try to understand how easy or difficult divorce is and everything in entails financially, logistically and more.
Try to understand how little money there is in women’s football, why and how it affects players and their people.
But… as the great Ballon D’or Winner Yoda once said:
“Do or do not… there is no try.”
d ❤
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Could we cope without Lia?
Hi… um… yeah.. no…
I don’t want to know. I truly don’t wanna know if we could.
I mean… I want to know that we can without her on the starting squad for injury or personal reasons but I don’t think I’ve been less interested in any topic at the moment than I am about learning if we can cope without Lia as an Arsenal player.
The importance of Lia is one of those ABSOLUTE things. Every single fan agrees that she is IT. Without her we struggle, and since I’ve followed the team that’s been a constant. She is the barometer or thermometer or whatever you wanna call it. How se plays, Arsenal play, and I honestly don’t feel this is applicable to anyone else. Or maybe if it does, say with Kim Little, it doesn’t feel to me as glaringly obvious.
You might be wondering what the hell I am on about, so… there’s a video making the rounds on that site from absolute hell aka twitter, where she.. well… you can watch it here
The fact of the matter is that I can survive DVD leaving I can survive anyone moving on. Sorry, not sorry. I know life goes on and I know I could sleep soundly. I don’t want it to happen but it’s clearly a possibility. But if I’m honest, I never ever thought about her leaving. Lia is just there forever, right?
Now, I would think that with Leah’s horrible injury, things might be different. I’m not sure when that video is from exactly, but let’s say that it was BEFORE Leah’s injury… then I could totally understand Lia leaving since Leah could take over eventually.
BTW if you are reading this and you have NO CLUE what I’m talking about: Lia and Leah are different people. Just know that Lia is our cornerstone and without her we might collapse.
Anyway… Lia might feel like she has to stay to help cover and perhaps sign a one year extension?! Either way, the sooner we know the better because the semi return leg could be her last match ever at The Emirates and she deserves a sendoff from a massive crowd like that.
😩😩😩
d ❤
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winning isn’t everything
Today is one of those days were I feel like I turn into a cartoon character and shake my face from side to side and make some sort of weird noise to sorta make sense of the flurry of emotions I’m feeling. And of course, it doesn’t work at all but I do it anyway.
Pride is what stands out. Absolute pride. To travel to Germany, with an extremely depleted squad, against a massive club, who has 2 of my favorite players EVER (both Dutch and former Arsenal players), to go down early… to give away a cheap goal… the doubt… tension.. BUT… enter the grit… the determination… the fight.
McCabe was INMENSE… Captaining the team and fighting as always. Noelle was all over… LIA WALTI YOU QUEEN… I mean, I could go on and on.
In a sport where people are obsessed with trophies and winning I have to tell you that yesterday felt seismic. And to me, we already won. This is insanity and it doesn’t make sense but yesterday feels like it shouldn’t have happened but it did.
There’s progress and success and then there is defying the odds in an unthinkable way. It’s hard enough without Kim Little FFS… add 4 more. But just the way the whole thing transpired feels surreal, but its not! It happened. It’s real and it feels fucking great.
Nobody seems to be able to assimilate it. Absolute scenes.
To be fair I don’t think Wolfsburg played all that well. I think they were shocked at what was happening too.
Anyway… hope you have a great start to your week.
New pod up right around when I wake up.
Zzzzz
d ❤
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Holy sh*t
I know this might seem counterintuitive but one of the things I set out to do with this blog was to post things that people who don’t know anything about AWFC and/or that don’t care too much about football, could appreciate and understand. I might or might not have been able to accomplish that yet.
Unforgettable sporting days like today make it hard to NOT talk about the football we just saw but I’m gonna try anyway.
Going into this game I was quite optimistic to be fair. The reason? Well, I was clear about what my expectations were, which I think is paramount to actually enjoying (or not) any football match. I was absolutely aware of the injuries coupled with the uncertainty of what the lineup would be, changes during the match, potential substitutions and so on.I thought to myself that a draw or a single goal defeat would be incredible and that the return leg at home could be one of those magical nights where anything could happen.
I’ll dissect the game on the podcast Monday morning to the best of my abilities but some things stood out that I feel are worth mentioning.
Jen was involved in a horrible mistake that on another day, perhaps even at full strength, would’ve just shut the team down and cost us BIG TIME. However, she picked herself up, showed true meddle and leadership and kept us tight at the back against a great forward line. She ended up winning the POTM award and I’m all about that. Not every POTM has to be a goal scorer… why not reward people from overcoming a mistake? for showing mental fortitude?
Another thing I have to mention is how Noelle Maritz has absolutely won me over. Laura had been playing for her a few matches, as you know, but her recent performances at left back have been great and today she was incredible.
The second goal was one of those *Chef’s Kiss* moments when I’m painfully reminded that I know absolutely NOTHING about football… LWB passed to Pelova who then passes to Stina to score.
I would’ve not started LWB or Pelova yet here we are.
2-2 is a FANTASTIC result and I’m extremely proud of this team.
How could you not?
d ❤
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Who will they line up?
Tomorrow’s Champions League semi final vs Wolfsburg can bring up an infinite amount of questions and lots of analysis. But I can only think of one:
How the hell will they line up?
This is what I think Jonas will do:

And just for fun, here’s what I would do:

I HAVE NO IDEA ACTUALLY!!!!
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football & empathy
When I started this blog I made a promise to myself to write every single day for YOU. Some days are easier than others, due to many reasons. There are times where I know exactly what I want to talk about and there are also times when I have no idea what I want to write. And then, there are days like today when I know exactly what I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT.
And I won’t.
What I will say though is that football can teach us a lot if we’re willing to be open minded. Football can teach us a lot more if we’re willing to listen. Football can teach an infinity if we’re willing to be empathetic.
Being empathetic is just about the most important thing people can be, and there’s a massive lack of empathy in the world. And I’m not here for social commentary, it’s just a fact because there can’t ever be an OK amount of empathy. We can always be more empathetic.
One of the ways that empathy can be taught via football is through injuries and more so through career threatening injuries. When these happen, it is most people’s reaction to think about how it affects THEM, their team, their dreams of winning X trophy, etc. And I know I’ve written about this before and I mention it on my podcast often, but if that is the FIRST thing we think about, we definitely need to learn to be more empathetic.
I’m not claiming to be a super empath and that you have to be like me. I wasn’t always actively trying to put myself in a player’s shoes. I instantly thought of Arsenal or The Netherlands campaign. No X player? well that sucks for me. Me, me, me, me, me. Us, us, us, us. But I started thinking about THEM when I started opening my mind and my heart thanks to women’s football.
The outstanding Suzy Wrack tweeted: “Feel very deflated. Not for Arsenal, not for England, for a person.”
That’s exactly what I mean. If we aren’t thinking about THEM, we are thinking of US and that just doesn’t make sense when you think about it.
But all things considered, our attitudes can shift and we can learn to turn that dial from thinking about “us” to thinking about “them” with practice and with an open heart. The good news is that we can always change and be kinder and more open. We can do whatever it takes to expand, to grow and to express gratitude.
Life has a funny and sometimes unfair way of teaching us lessons and the only way to learn is to truly listen. The only true way to grow is to listen. The only way to love is to truly listen.
Listen to Leah and listen to yourself
d ❤
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