-
I was too harsh
A few days ago we all heard the news of Caitlin Foord extending her contract. Those news, coupled with the club gifting yet another legend to a direct rival aka Beth to City, made me feel very angry. I couldn’t, and still cannot, wrap my head around the fact that we chose to extend one player and get rid of the other when the output, historic countributions etc etc etc and infinite etceteras favor Beth. I wanted to be critical about it and express how I didn’t accept who we let go and who is seem as a club “legend” but I was way too harsh.
It was the first time in over 600 blogs I’ve written that I decided to delete one and to be fair to Caitlin and Lotte, I am glad I did, glad nobody read it and I would like to apologize not just to them as women and people, but to you the reader as well because you deserve better.
Granted, I never insulted them, nor would I ever do it and I wouldn’t dish out any abuse but I think I didn’t express my disappointment with the board and sadly I aimed it at them. Now, I won’t lie to you either, I don’t like those players and I wish they played for other clubs. That’s not going to change and for that I don’t apologize. I am used to a certain type of standard and in my mind they aren’t anywhere near what we need in terms of, if nothing else, consistency at a very high level… at Arsenal Women levels. I cannot help it but whenever I would see LWM, Foord and Pelova start (plus Beth on the bench let’s say) I am considerably less confident and interested… I do not control that, but what I do control is how I express whatever I feel and one thing is to say an opinion to a friend and another thing is to make it public and I think I was a little much.
So, in the spirit of being better… in the spirit of understanding that this crusade of asking the club for more, is a fool’s errand, I will try to shift my way of writing a bit and focus as I once did on positive things, because the last thing you need me to do is feed your feed with bullshit.
There is something to be said for speaking my truth and I won’t shy away from that, however, there are more effective ways, regardless of the lack of power I have. This is also a respect thing and a hypocrisy thing, but that is a whole different blog post altogether.
Lastly, like I always say… create a blog, do a podcast, start a YouTube channel… make your voices heard and make it better than anything I’ve done, which won’t be difficult. I just think as a fan base we all deserve more dissenting and alternative voices, but also learn to not be like me sometimes when I cross a line here and there.
Also, we should sign Caroline Hansen Graham, Ona and Lucy Bronze to make up for Beth and Katie.
❤
d
-
The Ship Of Arsenal
The past few weeks have been very heavy on me emotionally as it relates to Arsenal Women, Arsenal as a whole, and actually, as it relates to football overall. With the World Cup only a few days away here in the USA (and Mexico and Canada), I cannot help but feel very strongly about the politics of it all and many other things. Football just has been a LOT lately not just as a sport but as a reflection or society, culture, identity and self expression.
Whenever I get in a place like this I resort to art. Whether it’s reading, writing or of course making music. One of the many things I’ve read has to do with some philosophy and specifically “The Ship of Theseus” and the paradox that exemplifies… Sounds dorky as fuck but stick with me…
If you’re unfamiliar with the Ship of Theseus, here’s the basic idea: Imagine a ship. Over time, one is replaced, then another, then another, etc until eventually every single piece of the ship has been replaced. Also replace the ropes, the sails, the doors, windows… you get the idea.
Now here’s the question: is it still the same ship?
For the record, the paradox implies that the planks of the ship are replaced because they are rotting but I refuse to make that part of this example because I don’t think any player that leaves is “rotting” so I’m not taking that part of the metaphor/paradox… anyway…
I’ve been thinking about that a lot recently when it comes to Arsenal Women. My favorite players have left and some new players I like have come in, but things just aren’t the same at the moment. Football moves fast and squads evolve. Players leave. New players arrive. Managers come and go. Staff changes. Sporting directors change. Sometimes even owners change… Clare and Jodie seem to stay forever though… haha ok let’s continue.
At what point does a football club stop being the same football club?
Take Arsenal Women today.. Many supporters discovered the team through players like Vivianne Miedema, Kim Little, Leah Williamson, Jordan Nobbs, Beth Mead, Jen Beattie, Danielle van de Donk or Katie McCabe. Some supporters go back even further and remember the era of Alex Scott, Kelly Smith and Faye White.
Now imagine a future Arsenal side where every single current player has retired or moved on. Would it still be Arsenal Women? Most of us instinctively say yes.
But why? After all, the people are different, the manager is different, the tactics are different, the training ground has changed, the stadiums have changed, the league itself has changed dramatically.
Almost every part has been replaced and even though we can say and effective affirm that it is in fact the same club, my pushback is that it doesn’t FEEL like the same club. And maybe it’s because of the toxic fans that are corroding a lot of things for a lot of people.
Of course, there is another version of the Ship of Theseus paradox.
What if every original part from the ship was saved and rebuilt elsewhere? Which ship would be the real one? Football has its own version of that question too.If Arsenal Women sold every player tomorrow and another club somehow signed them all, where would the identity go? Maybe not every player but lets be frank: Viv and Beth and Laura at City… etc…
Would a small part of AWFC travel with the people? I’m not sure there’s a correct answer but I would say yes, only because if we as people are who we have been and where we’ve been, then you cannot take that away… the same way we had PSV with DvD, Sunderland with Beth and so on.
What I do know is that football clubs are strange things, very weird things. They are simultaneously changing and staying the same, and sometimes players are valued and loved beyond any sort of objective reasons. Every season Arsenal Women become a different team, ever so slightly sometimes but I think this summer will bring even bigger chances.
Every season they remain Arsenal Women… Maybe that’s the paradox…Or maybe that’s the magic. I have no idea.
But there are some limits to my love and willingness to embrace people just because they support AWFC. There’s more to life than that. Like I cannot be the same type of person as the one that sings north London forever and in the same breath insults and abuses a woman on social media… we are not the same and singing a song doesn’t make you a “true fan” if anything else, it exposes who you really are, maybe not to the world because of all the distractions but at the end of the day we go home and look at ourselves in the mirror, if we have the guts, and come to terms with what we are and who we are.
Before I go, I started a new instagram ONLY for my handpan music so please follow instagram.com/panwave and if you wanna follow my personal account please do so at instagram.com/demianarriaga
❤
d
-
Interesting Watch
Hey friends,
Massive thanks and welcome to all new readers. You’re appreciated.
I haven’t shared a video in a while and this is one that I think it’s a very interesting one…
I will write regular post tomorrow.
❤
d
-
Football is dead
If football is all about the fans, the sport as we know it, thanks to those loud horrible abusive people that hate themselves, then football is dead.
The community that made me fall in love with women’s football has turned its back on the players, turned its back on love, turned its back on themselves. The amount of hatred and abuse that has been brewing for years has now come to its maximum expression is absolutely as heartbreaking as it was predictable, not because of social media itself but because of what people have inside them and their obsession with themselves.
The irony of the last line doesn’t get lost in me, writing a blog about how other people are obsessed with their own opinion is pretty hilarious but at least I’m laughing about it and there’s so humor and self deprecation there, unlike what I have witnessed on social media the past few days.
What I have seen on instagram and X about KATIE McCABE, the amount of vitriolic abuse is not just pathetic but at the end of the day it is all about projection. Every ugly message she receives is just her being a mirror essentially. Whatever she brings out in people is just that… whatever she brings out of THEM.
I am lucky enough to call several players my friends. These are people that I care about and will defend them forever regardless of what club they play for. I don’t expect people to get it and I’m trying to flex. Things are different if you know them or if you work with them.
What I would like to see is just more humanity and empathy. I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel anger or disgusted by a transfer, etc. Absolutely not! please feel all your feelings. What I’m asking is that people refrain from expressing the hate and vitriol when it adds nothing the world. It’s just hate.
Women footballers aren’t paid a lot, in case you didn’t know. They need to make as much money as they can and if the club that they gave everything for/to, doesn’t value them or decide to move on, then she is free to do and should do whatever is best for her. If she’s a Chelsea fan, I cannot blame her. These things happen.
Nobody was calling Russo a snake when she signed for Arsenal coming from Man Utd… and if anyone calls Pelova a snake for going to spurs, then they’re pretty fucking stupid. Also they are very conveniently placing their anger and emotions.
BTW regarding Pelova, not only do I wish her success wherever she goes, but my heart goes out to her and her family due to the passing of her mother. That must have been so brutal to deal with all these months.
❤
d
-
More on this later
But…
Good for Katie. Happy for her to stay in London, make money, be close to her partner, and play for the club she supported as a child. Unreal for her and I’m very happy for her.
I’ve told you so many times that the board are so negligent… at least get some money for her, but no… here biggest rival, have one of our best… also, Man City, how did you like Viv?
Obviously I love AWFC and want them to beat Chelsea every match, regardless of who is playing for them, but from a personal and empathy standpoint I always want my players to succeed. Same as when Dom Janssen went to Man Utd. I want her to be happy and succeed, always.
Some of us see the game and “loyalty” differently.
We can’t expect children to understand what loyalty is, so the social media world is a fucked up place with the worst people thinking they have the right for abuse people.
This one hurt but it’s not Katie that hurt me, it’s my own club. Not saying they should’ve done X or Y, I’m just telling you what I feel at the moment.
I’m more bothered by this than by the me losing the CL final.
❤
d
-
About Beth ❤
To say that this post will go in several different directions would be an understatement. I am sad, angry, excited, confused, grateful, bitter, hopeful, resentful and everything in between. When I say “I” it is very clear to me that I am not alone and that you probably feel the same way, so I’m going to do my best to express the whole spectrum of feelings, some of which might resonate and others won’t. Other posts will be more scathing but today I’m just grateful.
I fell in love with AWFC in a very difficult time in my life. During the summer of 2019 I became obsessed with the Oranjeleeuwinnen and virtually seconds later I realized that a few of them played for my club, Arsenal, and then I quickly became an actual proper fan. I was watching every piece of content imaginable, crack content, sporting content, you name it.
That fall I was lucky enough to play percussion with The Jonas Brothers and we did a massive tour all over the world and one of those stops was London. I invited several of the AWFC players and one of them replied… Beth. A few weeks later we met and she, DVD and Louise came to our show. It was one of the most incredible nights of my life and I will always be grateful for that.
This doesn’t seem like a tough time, and mind you we all met in February of 2020, but what you might not know is that a few months prior my house burned here in Los Angeles. I was in Canada while my wife was here in our homes and she had to leave through literal fire and flames and save herself.
What followed were months and months of absolute madness and add to that a little inconvenient thing called Covid. It was fucking brutal but one of the outside things that got me through it was women’s football. Learning about the club, knowing the players, past history, etc and during those endless days and hopeless weeks, these women were monumental for my mental and emotional health. They were my distraction, my therapy, a source of empathy and more. For the record, without my wife and family this period would’ve been unsustainable even with AWFC or any club combined. Family and friends…
And full disclosure, that’s what I consider Beth, which leads me to express that I am not always objective when it comes to her but let me attempt to do so.. even though I’ll start with “in my opinion” thus totally my objectivity…
In my opinion she can play til 2030 if not longer. She is football, in case people don’t fucking get it. We’re talking about a legend in women’s football, not just AWFC guys. She has done everything she could have done for our club and I tell you what, the fact that she kept the most bubbly personality during the darkest moments of her time is something we owe infinite gratitude for. Who else was gonna do it? NOBODY. She put our club first, always… and what does the manager and the board do? Not quite what you would expect and definitely not what she deserves.
Aside from her club trajectory, we cannot forget that she’s the reason “it came home.” Without her England don’t win the Euros, the country doesn’t change, lives aren’t changed… to borrow a Wengerism, we will need to take chronological distance to truly appreciate what she, and the rest of the lionesses, have done for the sport in the UK and the world. We had a gifted player and just about the greatest person you could ever meet absolutely LOVE our club and dedicate every single ounce of love and energy and football nous.
It’s utterly unacceptable that we just saw her last match at the Emirates, in an Arsenal shirt, and whatever happens in the future you better believe I’m going to root for her and if plays against us I’m gonna root for a Meado hat-trick, make no mistake. She will transform whichever club she goes to and I hope her, Viv and Katie reunite because they will win the Champions League and once again beat us to the WSL because they will be absolutely better than us, sorry not sorry.
I cannot believe we’re letting her go, not because it’s not believable but because it’s irresponsible by the club that you love and spend so much energy, time and money on, FFS!!!
My god she’s so much better than most players at the club at their positions… She’s a better defender than LWM, she’s a better midfielder than Pelova, she’s a better winger than Foord, she’s a better finisher than Stina… and let’s make one thing clear, Beth didn’t say goodbye to Arsenal, Arsenal said goodbye to her and that is not something I will ever forget… add to that how they treated Viv, Mana, DvD, Jill, JORDAN NOBBS, and many others. It’s just yucky, which is the total opposite of what Meado is.
I’ve said this so many times but Beth combined the best of Beckham and Rooney and if any of you are old enough to remember, both of those players would defend, spray balls all over the pitch and be the catalyst of everything when their teams needed them the most.
That is Beth Mead.
She was Arsenal, much more than other players and those that took her for granted just don’t know ball… but YOU, the ones that do, the ones that love her and supported her and donated to her walking charity, those that stuck by, showed her love, sang her songs… you my friend I’m thankful for as well.
I was lucky enough to watch her a handful of times, including her first game back from the ACL injury vs Villa when she assisted McCabe for that vital goal… Talk about moments you will remember forever.
Hope life rewards me with the opportunity to pay back to her 1/100th of what she has given me as a footballer, let alone as a person.
She will add value, energy, love, kindness, bite, footballing IQ to any and all teams she’s a part of. I am so excited for her future and I cannot wait to see her shine and win trophies because that’s what she does and who she is. A champion.. a winner. She’s Beth fucking Mead.
❤
d
-
Oh yesss & Oh God Nooo
Well, there we have it… the thought most of us feared came to become a reality. Our Meado is leaving AWFC and I have a lot of feelings and opinions which I will share, but before I get deep into it all I would like to mention a couple of things.
First of all I’d like to thank all of the new readers and I can see you come from all over the planet and that is absolutely incredible, so thank you for finding me and I hope I can make you stick around. Secondly I’d like to remind people that I am not a football expert, and that I am just a musician with a very subjective opinion however, this is no secret, I am friends with Beth and I will always stand up for her, do right by her and try to be as objective as I possibly can. If I succeed great, if not that’s great too. I say this with love: I don’t write anything to please anyone, ever.
I have stood up for Beth, Viv and many others at the risk of burning bridges here and there and I have never shied away from that and I owe it to you as a reader to dare, to be brave and express things that I feel a calling to say, not for ego or to prove a point, or at least that is not my intention. I absolutely welcome different opinions.
I will write much longer about Beth in the next couple of days as I need to process a few things but I’m overwhelmed with gratitude and I cannot wait to see how this universe and football rewards her in a new era for her. I’m extremely excited to see her win more and more and more.
Regarding the other news… I think we all expected the news on Pelova, you know how I feel about her. Laia I’m considerably bummed about and at the same time I think she can have more playing time and she’s just the coolest, so good luck to both.
One thing about Laia though is that this woman is an absolute legend. I know we haven’t seen the best of her in a bit but her accolades are absolutely insane. She’s won everything there is to win. Incredible.
❤
d
-
Her last home match
One more match at home. That’s all she has left at Arsenal Football Club. If it seems dramatic it’s because it is. It this feels vague its also because it is. I am not talking about anyone in particular but this can apply to Beth, to Katie, to Pelova, to Foord, to Frida, to Laia, and who knows who else. That’s sad and also exciting, so let’s explore that. I’m going to sorta create an avatar of a player and I’ll call them Player X instead of trying to push any one particular scenario because I don’t have inside info.
Player X has a seemingly incredible life at our club. We are THE Arsenal right? Monumental, historic, accomplished. We have some of the best facilities in world football, a great support system, the largest fan base in the world and a social media presence second to none. This could mean player X is also earning more than she would elsewhere and has more access to many more things, plus it’s a London club, etc. Why would anyone want to leave?
Well, you can start by looking at the negligence shown by the board in how they treated Viv and that situation. How we never replaced LIA WALTI ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME HOW IS THAT EVEN A THING???!!! You can also see how they create clothing lines and how there could be money spent in their wages.
You can also see the lack of support from the men’s players towards our Champion’s League Winners. Let that sink in… the players haven’t shown any support whatsoever to our girls when they were playing massive matches vs Lyon. Where were they? How can they be so self centered and lack so much humility? Well, it’s because they are men. I would be shocked if I heard that Declan Rice phoned Kim to ask her what it’s like to run a midfield against the best team on planet earth.
Imagine being player X, giving everything for the club, for the loudest and inexperienced football fans calling you useless or over the hill when you are quite clearly in your prime. Imagine being a player that doesn’t get the playing time you think you deserve. Playing under a manager that perhaps didn’t even want the job and keeps playing right backs on the left, etc.
There are so many variables and the excitement of a new adventure can be extremely appealing and I wouldn’t blame a single player if they decided to move on and sign for City.
Do I love Stina? yes, would I have Bunny Shaw instead? Absolutely. She’s better than Russo and since “she’s now a 10” they could form a great partnership. But I’m gonna assume that is nothing happening… so, if you are player X and the club doesn’t show that killer business sense and become total stone cold killers and prevent her from playing in any other team in England, then I would be looking elsewhere too.
I get that the grass is never greener than at arsenal for arsenal fans, but there is more to life than our club, and by the looks of many decisions we don’t seem like a serious club. Otherwise we would’ve locked in Beth and Katie.
Also worth noting that players should have more ambition and set higher standards and this is something I respect so much about Pelova, who clearly is moving on. I also think Lotte and Foord should move one as we can get true world class talent in their positions.
LWM is never going to bench Steph or Leah if they are both fit and we need someone to actually challenge them. If I were her I would be moving on. Foord might get a new contract?? are you kidding me? Why? If this means Katie stays they yes, but based on merit I just don’t think there’s anything footballing there that has shown excitement and a new signing energy.
We need to fall in love with the club again. Those players will always be in our hearts, the squad players who helped a lot, but the true soul of the team, the OGs, can still deliver amazing performances… Beth at 10, Kim in different positions, same with Mariona, Katie at left wing SCORING goals, etc.
Anyway, take a beat and truly enjoy every minute of player X on the field for us, it’s the last time you’ll see that.
Also, pathetic by the club if its Katie or Beth and they didn’t announce it and they could’ve gotten a much better send off.
A lot of this is on us fans. We treat them like shit a lot of the times. Never forget the loud “journalists” and their agendas driven by access and how the cozy up to the board and managers to never create any tension.
❤
d
-
Bipolarsenal
It is such a weird thing, supporting both Arsenal Women and Arsenal men. I can barely deal with one emotion let alone several with ONE of the teams, then there’s the other. It’s absolutely mad and exhausting and fantastic and exhilarating all at once. But make no mistake, there is a massive disconnect between the two and it’s very obvious. Don’t let the couple of cute pics of MLS and KCC fool you. This club isn’t the family that they sell us but like every family, the dynamic is fucked up and that’s expected and “normal.”
I’m also constantly caught in the past vs present situation. I am of the belief that we would’ve won everything if we still had Viv and Lia Walti. I am also of the belief that Michelle Agyemang is the truth and that we should’ve never sold Freya Godfrey… what a stupid move.
There’s also the duality of loving and supporting every player to ever play for our girls and at the same time knowing that a few of them just aren’t good enough for what I would like to see at our club. You know where I stand with those players, no need for me to point it out and I even feel guilty at this point.
Then there’s Arteta… I am not a fan and I would like to have another manager at my club but how can I argue that he is good if he gets to the CL final and might win us the league? I cannot stand his antics on the touchlines, they are cringe and unbecoming and I don’t need my manager to try to grab the ball from opposing players. It’s pretty pathetic actually.
Renee? Love her forever for the CL title but another domestic season without a trophy? not even a cup?? It’s not good enough, it really isn’t… Maybe we need a new assistant coach and different staff, ones that let her do the job and not bark in her ear.
Then there are the podcasters and YouTubers out there that claim to be the voice of reasons because they need access to feed their families but claim they don’t have access. They will gaslight you and try to make you think you don’t have critical thinking. At the same time, I encourage content creators and people to make their voices heard.
It’s a lot my friends and a perfect example is the men making the CL final and the girls losing the title to City, who won it thanks to Viv’s insane season, someone who’s midfield field and height are exactly what we need.
I need a 3 month nap
❤
d
-
It’s too quiet…
My anxiety is through the roof… I am at the point in which whatever happens with transfers, I need it to happen ASAP. Of course, there are literally months to go but we are just days away from the season ending and for us to know at the very least who will be leaving 100%. I am more focused on that whole dynamic that the men’s CL semifinal which starts in 20 minutes.
One player that confirmed their departure is Naomi Williams. I feel so bad because I don’t remember ever seeing her play and I have no real concept of her timeline at our club. I have heard only amazing things about her as a person and I wish her the best of luck in whichever team signs her.
Now, onto the next match which is tomorrow which I will miss because I will be sitting in a very comfortable dentist’s chair. Brighton is not going to be an easy match and I’m very curious to see not just the attitude of the players after that heartbreaking semi final vs Lyon, but I’m very interested to see how Renee lines them up. I wonder if at any moment there’s sentimentality involved and she’ll give players that are leaving some time so they get the flowers they deserve and they all do, regardless if they stay or go.
There is still some hope in terms of winning the WSL but I just don’t see a way in hell of that happening because city are STACKED and hopefully Viv comes back to play which will mean they will win, simple as that. Also, we learned that Beth is available again which is good news too and I hope everyone and everything is ok.
The season feels like a big deflated football and I feel the club was so negligent in the transfer window, specially not replacing Lia Walti and getting a proper backup for Steph and Leah.
If we were a serious club we would get Mapi Leon.
❤
d
